Bruise, Damn It!
You have no idea how frustrating it is to be a noobie pole dancer without bruises.
I look on in envy as my class mates arrive and slowly disrobe for our session. I see bruises up their shin bones, bruises on their inner arms, their inner thighs, some are even lucky enough to have bruises at the backs of their legs or the backs of their arms.
Me, not a mark! Not a scrape, not a dint, not even the hint of discolouration. Shit, shit, shit!
I always knew I was hard to bruise, I can walk into chairs, tables, even walls and not a mark is left, well on me anyway. The table's shift around a meter with the force, the chairs topple, the walls, well the walls just stay there. I was once hit by a car when I was 18. I rode my push bike directly in front of him. I flipped on to the bonnet and then rolled down it on to the road, I didn't break a bone, I didn't cut my skin, nothing. I got rushed to the emergency department by ambulance because I was knocked out but I got the most undramatic bruise you've ever seen. I think it was as huge as hmmm, a twenty cent piece maybe. If I squinted it looked the size of a fifty cent piece. That was it, that was my bodies best effort. Pfft!
Bruises and marks are like small badges of honour in Poling. They are proof that you threw yourself into a trick with enthusiasm or gusto. They're proof that you gave something a shot. They're proof that you pole. I have no visual proof. I cannot say to friends or fellow polers, "Yah, got this one doing a backward showgirl." Damn it, this is so annoying. I'm seriously thinking I should be completely immature and pout.
The worse thing is I am hurting too, no not emotionally (okay maybe just a tad) but physically, muscularly. Yep, in all the same places as my fellow polers who are lucky enough to have pole kisses on their bodies. I hurt in the same muscles as them, underneath the skin these muscles have been slammed, squashed, twisted or smooshed, just like my classmates. It's just my skin has nothing to show for it, my blood vessels don't break or tear to leave the bruise behind. So no bruise, no proof, and therefore no badge of pole honour. Damn, damn, damn it all.
There is no solution, trust me I've thought of a few fails but nothing genuine.
I did think of stage makeup, but I'm not that organised and it'd only sweat off anyway. Fake tattoo stuff, but who could be that bothered, seriously. It's easier to come in here and have a whinge anyway.
The only up side I can see is.... WHEN I do get a bruise, and by god there has to be a when.... WHEN I do get a bruise finally, the story behind it will be SPECTACULAR! You might be waiting a while to read about it but it has to happen eventually... doesn't it?
Just you wait and read.
